19. Epiphany

I am always looking for a great book to read, website or social profile to follow, podcast to listen to, or friend to make that is like-minded as myself! If I am to be honest, which is my goal, I tend to ebb and flow in my motivation and discipline as it relates to consuming content on a regular basis.

The hard thing about pursuing “better,” much like I covered in last week’s post, “Toward Better,” you really have to know yourself well enough to know what it is that you are trying to accomplish, but also how to get from where you are to where you want to be. For me, it really does boil down to the discipline and my wife, Hannah, will tell you that I have all of the best intentions and do work hard to constantly improve something I do everyday. Sometimes, you look up and realize that it’s been days or weeks since you’ve really put your head down and focused on achieving something worthwhile as it relates to creating positive habits, and then it’s like you put yourself in overdrive to try and make up for lost time. That energy, mixed with the fact that you have to shift your mindset away from the busyness that got you distracted in the first place, can sometimes hurt you more than it helps!

You know how, as you get older, you see words take on new meanings or maybe you think of when you heard a word for the first time and it had actual practical application in your life at the time. One of those words, as you’ve probably guessed is the word “epiphany.” The official definition of the word is: “an intuitive grasp of reality through something (such as an event) usually simple and striking.” I don’t remember when and where I learned this word when I was younger, but I remember having a better grasp of my ability to learn and interpret things in my life based on these revelations. I have, many times, lacked the common sense in situations to actually figure something out and it was always much later that I would connect the dots and see the solution in hindsight.

I have seen myself grow stagnant over a week or two and then look up to realize that I’m frustrated because I’m not better at something I want to be better at.  I remember back in April 2006 when I “lucked” into a job delivering beer for the local Budweiser distributor. I never got my commercial driver’s license so that I could legally drive the big tractor-trailer beer trucks and they pushed me to get it done. I believe it would’ve cost a couple thousand dollars to pay for the course and the license, etc, and the company itself took on that cost if I chose to do it, and I would just have to work as an actual driver for a minimum of one year in order for their investment to pay off for them. Getting my CDL, since then, has been a huge bucket list item for me. Nowadays, I really have no use for that endorsement on my license, but I’ve still wanted to just enroll as a CDL student at the technical college I’m attending and do it anyway for the sake of accomplishment.

(P.S., next week, I am going to post my actual bucket list and share with you everything on it that I have already achieved and still hope to check off the list, and would love to have you share yours with me, as well!)

As I’m writing this, I’m waiting on permission from other blogger to share an amazing quote from their Instagram that fits so perfectly with all of this. [[I have yet to receive a response from the author of the quote, so in my own words, I will share my interpretation of it: “One day, you just wake up and it makes sense! The things in life become clear and you can finally grasp what matters and what doesn’t. It suddenly becomes less significant what others’ opinions of you are and all the more important is your view of yourself! When you think about all that you’ve accomplished and how those seemingly insurmountable obstacles that you’ve overcome weren’t so bad on the other side. You thought you’d never make it through. You thought you would never achieve that goal. Then your heart is just glad. Your soul is at peace. You finally understand how far you’ve come and how amazing you truly are!]] The reason for the CDL story is simply this: I had the epiphany a few short months after leaving that job at Budweiser, that I quit that job due to a back injury where my employer and doctor advised me not to remain working on the actual truck with all of the heavy lifting and such. Had I been a driver, I could’ve stayed on the truck and just been assigned an extra helper that could do the lifting for me. When I stopped working on the truck, the company was in the process of expanding their distribution territory by buying out another distributor, which involved remapping their territory and figuring out which locations would deliver to which areas. They offered me an opportunity to move into the office and help with more administrative duties, which I did for another month before I decided that this type of work was not fulfilling. The epiphany also came that I gave up a full-time salary position with a company that I could still be working for (they have since acquired four more distributors, three in Georgia and one in South Carolina).

Granted, I am where I am because of God’s grace and I wouldn’t trade my story for anything. People always say “if I could go back and do it differently, I would.” There is still that lingering thought that I have since learned to dismiss more and more because I may not have my beautiful wife and son, and a great life in Atlanta with an amazing family. Epiphanies are a weird thing, of which I hope to get better at catching before it becomes a hindsight, but for now, I have to focus on the future and work to find ways to improve the way I do things in the moment in order to catch the right decision before it’s too late.

In closing, I am reflecting on this post and feeling how “all over the place” it sounds, which makes me not want to publish it for you, but then I’m reminded of why I’m writing on my entrejourney to begin with. I didn’t start writing because I’m a great writer. I’m not someone who has all of his thoughts together and can compose a perfectly orchestrated story on a weekly basis. I am an entrepreneur who is passionate about writing, technology, relationships, and making my life count for something bigger than what is right in front of me. This is why the quote I am waiting for permission to share is so fitting. I realize that it’s not about me. It’s about you. If I can write one thing that sparks an epiphany in your heart and soul, that causes you to see what needs to happen beforehand, and take action to make it happen and make your life better tomorrow that what it was today, then I’ve accomplished what I’ve set out to do.

What epiphany have you had recently that you still have time to act on that, in doing so, will make your tomorrow better?

I can’t wait to share my bucket list with you next week and hear from you!

 

 

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